The Dangers of Our Comfort Zone
Life is full of so many uncertainties.
Because of this, we often gravitate towards what feels safe and comfortable, rather than allowing ourselves to explore what it is we really want. You may have many dreams and aspirations, but when it comes to taking steps towards achieving them, you freeze. You doubt yourself capable of achieving them. You may even avoid thinking about your future entirely, as it seems too overwhelming. Ultimately, you begin to lose touch with the version of yourself you’ve always aspired to be, before even allowing yourself to become it.
Why do we do this? There can be many reasons. Many of us have worked hard for the safety and security we have. Familiarity and comfort may seem too risky to play with. However, in order to have any chance at achieving what we would deem in our own lives as successful, we must be willing to step outside of our comfort zone.
In the words of Heraclitus, a greek philosopher well known for his conceptualization of change,
“No one that encounters prosperity does not also encounter danger” - Heraclitus
Oftentimes, our resistance to leaving, or rather expanding our comfort zone, is merely due to our fear of failure. But we neglect to recognize the fact that we are already setting ourselves up for failure by refusing to try.
Where there is no risk, there is no change.
Maybe you have already seen this in your own life. Ask yourself:
What dreams or aspirations have I given up on?
What would I have needed to risk to obtain them?
What might be different now if I allowed myself to take those risks?
This is not a space to invite shame or regret, but rather an opportunity to recognize where life may have taken you if it were given the chance. The hope is that as you reflect on these questions, you may awaken a part of yourself that has the potential to spark a change in your life now.
Here are some ways you can begin to explore what it is you want in life and how to get there in three simple steps:
Visualization
Do you have a particular aspiration in mind? Maybe you’re an artist who’s always dreamed of having your work displayed in a gallery. Maybe you live in the suburbs, but have always imagined yourself living on a large plot of land in the country. Maybe you’ve been working the same office job for years, but frequently fantasize about changing your entire career to something you’re more passionate about.
Whatever the case may be, once you have a particular vision in mind, imagine yourself achieving it.
Let yourself day dream about what your life would look like. Spend some time there, noticing what feelings arise. Are you excited, at peace, fulfilled, motivated, or maybe even moved to tears? Visualize who is around you as you picture this. Certain members of your family, friends, new faces, or maybe even just yourself?
Visit this place frequently. Keeping these ideas fresh on your mind may allow your mind to open in new ways, to shed light on opportunities that arise that may be missed otherwise, to begin brainstorming ideas on how you might achieve this particular lifestyle or goal you’re dreaming of.
Identification
Identify what steps you need to take in order to achieve this goal.
Practically think through where to start if you were to go after this goal. What resources you may need, how much time it would potentially take, what assistance you may require from others to achieve it, etc. For example, if you are the artist wanting to display your work in a gallery, a first step may look like contacting an art gallery and asking what the process is for getting your work displayed, or searching for local communities of other artists that may be able to advise or mentor you.
Identify where to start, trust that the next steps will reveal themselves to you as you continue forward, and trust yourself to conquer any obstacles that may arise along your path.
Manifestation
Achieving what you truly desire requires faith. You may even have a very supportive network of people around you, but without faith in your own abilities to achieve the life you desire, other people’s faith in you will only take you so far.
When any of our doubts or fears are reinforced by people around us, which they often can be, it makes it all the more difficult to invite positive/ optimistic thoughts into our conscience.
According to the National Science Foundation, people have an average of 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day, and 80% of them are negative. Often it is our fear, self-doubt, and experiences from the past that keep us in such a negative thought spiral. At times, our
Manifestation is the art of using our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to bring something to our physical reality.
As children, we are often told by teachers, parents, or other mentors that we can be whatever we want to be when we grow up. And for some reason, as we get older, we lose that encouragement and instead begin to receive advice like, “choosing to major in music is too risky, you should get a business degree so you have more options,” or “living abroad could be dangerous, why don’t you just take a vacation there instead?” For many of us, messages like these translate into believing that the safe and comfortable options are the “right” options, even if we are discontent.
Only we have the power to change that. Once we begin to accept risk as a part of the change we desire, visualize ourselves making that change, and identify what steps we need to take in order to achieve that change, we have the power to manifest it into existence.
About The Author
Hannah Brooks, APCC, AMFT is an associate therapist at Whole Wellness Therapy and has extensive experience working with marginalized populations in our community. Hannah is passionate about working with teens and adults struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, self-esteem issues, substance use issues, codependency, grief and loss, or any range of challenges that are preventing someone from being where they want to be in life. She is also drawn to working with individuals who are seeking a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationships with others.
